How To Get Over Wanting Another Baby

How-do-you-do,
This may not seem serious to some but it's ruling my life completely.

I have three wonderful boys that I am thankful for every single day. I am not ungrateful for that and I had trouble conceiving my second child (to the point where my specialist told me it was unlikely to happen without medical assistance). I fell pregnant with him and was delighted/terrified to notice I was expecting again 10 weeks afterwards he was born.
It has been 6 and a one-half years since the birth of last baby and for the terminal 3 years I have really had potent feeling about wanting some other infant.

Many things have happened in the vi years that have made information technology like shooting fish in a barrel to put the thought from my mind. My husband has been fabricated redundant twice, we have separate twice and my middle son had a bowel status that was not rectified until he was 4. Since my youngst was 3 years quondam even so, things accept been good and they continue to get improve every single twenty-four hour period. The better things get the less reason I have for non wanting another child, the less justification I tin can find for non having i.

My husband is expressionless confronting information technology, absolutely no way volition he consider it. When the boys were tiny babies he really struggled, he was not confident at all. I e'er reassured him that he was a great dad and a wonderful support to the whole family unit but he simply never felt comfortable when they were and so young. He was terrific with them, so patient when they cried and and so hands on and loving but he really doesn't see that. In his head it was turmoil, he felt hewas doing everything wrong and no amount of praise and recognition from me ever really made it any better. Information technology just got easier as they grew up. I tin totally sympathise that being his reason for non wanting i, I always said that when I struggle to cope with a kid that's a sign that it should be the final. So I get it I really practice.... simply he didn't struggle - he but felt similar he did.

Nosotros take the coin for another child and are in a really stong position (stronger than when whatsoever of the children were built-in actually) equally a family unit and equally a couple.
I have tried simply focussing on other things simply it is getting and then incredibly hard that I have get depressed about information technology. I am overcome with jealousy when I see people at school with babies, a friend of mine has merely institute out she is expecting twins... this will exist babies six and vii! My statement is that is she tin manage why tin we not?

I know that at that place may exist a lot of negative bug surrounding us having babies, nosotros take been through virtually of our troubles when the children were immature and I totally become that that would frighten my OH but at the same time it makes me a little aroused. Why does he get to decide? I want one, he doesn't. There tin be no compromise, you can't one-half have a baby and I certainly would never get significant intentionally without his acceptance and back up. So that's information technology then is it? It'due south no and then I just have to bargain with my issues and he gets to carry on as normal?

My husband knows I have been depressed for a while now just he doesn't know the existent reason. I'one thousand non going to use it equally a weapon or go along badgering him about information technology. I don't want a baby that fashion. I think all I actually desire is to cease wanting. I can't practise this forever, I can't face up feeling similar this for the balance of my life.

I can be ok for a while and and so bang information technology hits me similar a tonne of bricks and I experience like I can't breathe... this utter longing and it's heartbreaking.

Why am I being and then selfish? I have 3 wonderful sons that I admire, I know that I am incredibly lucky to have them... simply however I desire more
I don't know what to do anymore.